Why Men Should Not Buy Random Girls Drinks

Group of friends toasting with cocktails in the bar

 

“It’s such a waste of money for boys, like they’re not gonna kiss you they just want your alcohol.” This was sent to me by a girl in a casual conversation the other day as she was agreeing with me on my philosophy of the nightlife.  85% of the time, buying random girls drinks is a bigger waste of money than Hellen Keller buying an expensive pair of reading glasses, 10% of the time you will get a pity kiss and a number where they probably won’t text you back, and the other 5% of the time, well congrats to you my friend. Go get checked when you have some free time just to be safe though.

I have had a girl point to me and say, “Lets go talk to him, he looks like he will get us drinks.” and then come over to me at the bar and attempt to flirt with me as I laugh and walk away. I have seen dozens of friends wanting to get with a girl they see at the bar, go up and get them a drink, and come back with that grin that they just spit game, but deep down they feel more used than your friends Netflix account that everyone has the login info to. I even have girl friends that have gotten me drinks by saying to me, “What do you want to drink? Im gonna go have Chester buy me a drink, I’ll make him get me 2.” Don’t get me wrong, I love a good whiskey coke at no cost just as much as the next guy, but I needed to raise awareness to help out the future drinkers of America.

You see, buying a random girl a drink at the bar is like being one of the guys that rebound for NBA players before the game starts. You are on the court right in the middle of the action before anything serious goes down. Then once it’s game time, the players are done using you for their benefit, and move on to their main focus of the night: their scheduled opponent. Like come on man, what girl is gonna be at a bar that is not either with a group or meeting someone and because you say a couple sly lines and buy her a drink or 2  she is gonna go home with you that night? Ohh yeah, that 5%. Like I said, congrats, but go get checked when you have some free time just to be safe buddy.

“Buying a girl a drink just to hook up with them is the biggest mistake guys can make. Show them what you have to offer besides money. Girls don’t respect you if all you have to offer is free drinks.” These are wise words of wisdom by my best friend David that I think all men should realize are very true. There’s 2 things that girls really appreciate: respectful gentlemen and a good chase. Respectful gentlemen have a better chance of getting with a decent girl through a good conversation over a Red Bull Vodka any day. As far as the good chase part goes, easily the most attention I get from girls is when they ask me to buy them a drink and I laugh and respond with “No.” Once you reject them, odds are they care more about getting you than the free drink now.

For the record I am not saying don’t buy any girl a drink, but just not the randoms. I think you need to have at least logged 5 man hours of knowing a girl that you’re interested in before you buy her a drink. If you take her out to dinner for a first date and you’re trying to get your drink on a little bit, well your first drink better be a water (with or without lemon). Not only does it hydrate you, but it counts as logging those 5 man hours, and it shows her you’re a man of patience. Now if your first date is a “let’s meet up and get some drinks” kind of thing, that is unchartered territory and goes against everything I have just preached. In that case, get a beer and examine because you have a 50% chance she is a good girl if she orders a beer also; now if she orders a cocktail she is using you as a pre game, and you’re going home to finish up your Netflix series alone after a couple drinks with less money in your pocket.

To men that have fallen into the trap of buying random girls drinks: if it didn’t work out, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you learned your lesson, and if it has, congrats but I wouldn’t count on it as you are due for some disappointment and maybe an STD.

Any women offended by this article please contact me and I will buy you a drink.

Goodluck boys.